Posted in work

Working from home?

I started working from home a year back when I switched to a remote job. At that time, people used to envy the fact that I could work from anywhere. I had realised quite early on that it won’t be easy. Today the Covid-19 situation has gotten way too many people working from home, and I know it isn’t easy. So, I wanted to pen down a few things from my experience that make working from home easier;

  • Stick to a routine / fixed working hours as much as possible. The flexibility to work whenever you want may seem exciting, but don’t overuse it. Having set hours for work would limit the time that you have and make you more productive in the long run. If you keep taking frequent breaks, after a point it would seem like you’re always working but not getting enough work done.
  • Talk about boundaries, especially if you’re back at your parents place. If you’re in India, you might still need to convince your parents that working from home actually requires you to work. Set expectations around when it is okay for them to disturb you. If they can handle it, share your calendar with them. I have my roommate’s calendar synced on my phone and that’s very helpful for me to know when they might be in a meeting.
  • Have a dedicated work space, set up a place in the house that works for you the best. Ensure that you have everything that you need all day long, just like you set up   your desk at the office. This simple piece of advice is very helpful for everyone else to know that you’re working when you’re in that zone. This would ensure minimum disturbance and also help you in maintaining your routine.
  • Wear those office clothes; I struggled with the fact that I am sitting in my pyjamas and working. It was too relaxed for me. So wear those office clothes, wear a watch, get ready as you would for going to work. It would help you get in that “work mode”

Well, that’s all that I had on my mind. Amidst the chaos, don’t forget to take out time for things that make you happy. Watch/ read news less often if it is making you anxious. Be productive and stay safe!

Posted in Lessons Learnt

Need

IMG_20180623_125155__01As complex beings that we are, we live under the impression that we need a lot of things in life. Very rarely, we stop and think about what we actually need to survive. I bought this bag because I totally fell in love with it, the moment I saw it. I thought yeah I’ll use it when I need to carry a few things. But then I started using it daily and for that I transferred things from my older (and much bigger) handbag. I kept aside things that I would definitely need. And that pile of things was very small. Just money, keys, and a bottle of sanitiser.

I have been using this bag for a month now. It was surprising to realise that those 3 things were all I needed and everything else was just extra baggage I was carrying around with me for no reason. I was unnecessarily burdening my shoulders (quite literally) with things that weren’t required.

If only, we understood we need very little, life would be much more simpler.

Posted in Random

Moving out!

Over the last three years I have lived in four different houses. Each time I have packed and unpacked, I have thrown away tonnes of stuff. Today, if you ask me to move out I will barely need two bags to pack everything I need. Over the years, I have learnt to throw away things that aren’t required and in turn, learnt not to get attached to things or houses as much. Every time when I am moving out from a place, I ask myself the question “Will I ever use this again?” and then decide if it goes to the bin or the bag. I have come to realise that this cleaning and consideration is really important.

How often do we do the same with our thoughts?

 

Posted in Random

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…Make Me Look Prettier!!

After being pulled into numerous irrelevant shopping trips with people obsessed with their looks, it had become mandatory for me to type out the screams I had withheld for so long.

The world is, it seems, moving towards an oblivion where looking good could be the doom of human life on earth. If this thought seems funny to you, Google and see for yourself how many lives have been sacrificed in the pursuit of a perfect photo; or as they call it nowadays – “Selfie

Social media has played a MAJOR role in turning clicking photos from a hobby to an obsession. People post on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and where not. A majority of these posts comprise of thousands of photos, and the person manages to look pretty in all of these. I wonder how much spare time people have to get that perfect click, but then it dawned on me that some people actually prioritize this.

This obsession scares me. And I realize it is deeply rooted in our Indian society too. Having grown up watching the advertisements for “Fairness Creams”; I don’t have much hopes with the society anyway. But it saddens me to see educated young people giving in to this obsession.

Why? I asked a few people. They said they do it for themselves. It makes them happy.

Really? I asked. And then I never received an answer in return.

How is uploading photos on ten different websites for your own self? It is purely an act of seeking approval from other people. And that is a sad place to be. Focus on thoughts people, please. Intellect. Mind. Soul. Universe. Love. Family. There is so much more to obtain happiness from. Real happiness, not pseudo, not vicarious – the one of your own.

You don’t need people to like you, you don’t need to market yourself, you are not a product – you hold an entire universe within yourself –EXPLORE!!

An awesome woman once said “When people meet you, your beauty isn’t the first thing that they should notice- beauty is just attraction, let them notice your intellect first.”

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Posted in Lessons Learnt, My Articles

Fool’s Goals

I want you all to think about three things that you want in life. Think of things.

No seriously, first think; then read further.

When I thought about it, the first things that came to my mind were a nice luxurious car, a comfortable apartment and the best wardrobe ever.I am assuming that you are equally twisted in your thinking, and thought of similar things.

But do you actually want these things?

Giving it a deeper thought, I realized that I don’t actually want these things for myself. I want all this so that people look at me and think “Oh wow, look at her, she has everything at this age. I wish I were like her.” So, in reality you want all that so that the people are jealous of you. That would give you a weird sense of satisfaction, which is totally mental. Just give it a thought.

And now think of your life goals. The things that you want in life. Again three things.

I thought of a house on the beach, a closet full of books, and a job with steady money. That is what I actually want in life. And I would be totally satisfied with everything in life, with just these things. So why do we let the expectations of the society get in the way of our life goals. Why do they distract us so much that we end up forgetting where to focus?

It is imperative to know what we want- for ourselves. Only then we can be contented with what we do in life. The things that the society would be happy to see with us versus the things that we really want.

The satisfaction derived from both of these would differ a great deal in terms of durability. One will be transient and the other, if you get it right, would probably stay with you for the rest of your life.

It is very easy to think that you really want all those things you first thought of, and if you achieve it, the high might not let you know that you don’t want it.

I would categorize the things that we first thought of as the fool’s goals. And the latter as the real goals.

There are people who rejoice in the happiness bought on by the fool’s goals until they realize the truth. And then there are people who live in misery until they realize the satisfaction brought on by the life’s goals. The one’s of their own.

Today, where do you stand?

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Posted in Random

Woes of a House-Hunter

For almost a month now, I have been looking for flats to live in Pune. With all the efforts in vain, writing about it was the only rewarding option left. So here is ramble about the time wasted in trying to find a house.

House Owner: Boys are not allowed to visit, no matter what. Problem hota hai neighbours ko. No bhai, cousin, relative. No males allowed.

Me: So, if my Mom and Dad come, I will have to make my Dad stay outside the apartment?

HO: Yes. Society ka rule hai. I don’t have an issue.

Me: Logic?

Result: 24 days of rigorous house hunting in the so called “posh” area of Pune, and I am still homeless.

Then there was this Aunty who interviewed me like she wanted to get me married with her son. With 24 days of such stupid rules and tactless arguments today I am trying to find some peace by writing about all those illogical house owners.

Pune- said to be one of the developed cities to live in the country, yet it is so difficult to find a place to live, if , obviously you are a single girl. Primarily, I fail to understand who came up with the idea of “Bachelor’s not allowed” to live in a society. Didn’t anyone bother to think logically for even a minute?

I have deduced that I fall in the “Least probable to find a home” category. Obviously because I am single, I am a girl, I wear “uncultured clothes”, I don’t have a family, I would be a bad example for neighbor’s kid, I will play loud music, I will fight with my flatmates at 2 AM. I will come late at night. And the solution for all this is so simple – get married and voila, you will suddenly become mannered, cultured, family- person and a good example for everyone.

Can someone go and tell all these stupid brokers and house owners to apply some sense and stop stereotyping on the basis of marital status. I am pretty sure married people are not dead, they will also live (so play music, wear normal clothes and may be even host parties) basically things that might bother the neighbors. Then why this injustice with us?

Who makes these rules, I think all the unhappily married people are on the board of “Make Bachelor’s Homeless”. I pray to the bachelor God to impart some wisdom to these people. And soon. It is so damn irritating to find a place to live and yet not live there because of these stupid constraints. Grown ups, please grow up. 896660818

Posted in My Poems, Random

Stop

When straight words tend to express an utter intimate thought, it is safer to write out a prose. For one, it is open to a million interpretations and two, the probability of it being read by the minds willing to interpret, increases. So, myriad theories can be applied. Thereby ensuring that the thought process even after being expressed, remains arcane. Mystery held.

First the sun-rays find their way to your eyes
Then the moon reminds you of your paradise
In between you live
In your struggle to survive
But once in a while
Life urges you to desist
Stop to find that constellation
And stare at the brightest star
Find the layers in the cloud
Each a unique hue of blue
Stop to watch the cars passing by
Hear your favourite song
Let the aroma of robusta
Seep through your skin
Stop to feel a little more alive
Close your eyes to find Him within
Breathe a little deeper
Feel the air gushing in
Stop for a while

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Posted in Random

Goa Withdrawal Syndrome

“It’ll be the same anyplace else too, just minus the ocean.”

That is what I told myself when I knew I had no option but to leave. But it is not the same. It would never be.

The ocean was not just a body of water. It gave me much more than what a person can ever give. Calmness. Peace of mind. Perfection. Admiration. Beauty.

I miss the fact that I can’t go up to the hostel terrace and watch the ferries go to and fro. Though, I can still see it in my head and hear the rough sound created by them.

I miss the sunset, its reflection in the water and watching Diwar Church from the terrace.

I miss the whistle of cargo vessels.

I miss driving next to the river, admiring the water during the day and the reflections during the night.

I miss taking that road while going grocery shopping, where you can see cruises/casinos in the water and point out at Terry’s from the other side.

I miss the colors, the vibrancy, the air, the happiness in the air, the chilled out attitude of people.

I miss bumping into somebody from college, somewhere in or around Panjim.

Now anywhere I go, it is like “Yeah this place is good, but this vast stretch of land could have been ocean”

Because ocean meant a lot more, added a lot of positivity and made everything just perfect.

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Picture Credits – Suma
Posted in My Articles

People are just people…

In a very rare scenario, I am publishing one of my assignments here. This is the article I wrote for my Ethics class. It is based on the movie Blood Diamond. If you haven’t seen the movie, I urge you to do that at the earliest. To make the article understandable, a clip from the movie is attached.

“My heart always told me that people are inherently good. My experience suggests otherwise. But what about you, Mr. Archer? In your long career as a journalist, would you say that people are mostly good?”  
“No. I’d say they’re just people.”

People develop beliefs based on their experiences in life. Both Benjamin and Danny had witnessed life in its most cruel form. But their experiences had been different. These experiences made them who they were.

It is mentioned in the movie that Danny Archer had a tough childhood. Both his parents were brutally killed in front of him, when he was just nine years old. Thereafter, he was on his own and, given the plight of his country, he must have had a tough time in his struggle for survival. This is evident as he grows up to be selfish, practical and apparently a cold person. But, that doesn’t totally take away the good in him. He knew what loss felt like. Humanity was still prevalent in him.

On the other hand, Benjamin seems to be a kind of person who had earlier been living in a comparatively peaceful environment. Later in his life, however, he somehow gets engulfed by the war, still, he works in order to make the lives of the children, better. This tells us that he is the kind of person who would still be looking for means of obtaining inner peace, in a war prone environment. And hence, he takes up the noble cause of rehabilitation of the war-affected children.

So, specific to their experiences, both of them had a different approach towards humans and their humanity. While Benjamin lived his whole life with the certainty that people are good, his exposure to the war made him question his belief. Therefore, he says his experience suggests him otherwise. Archer, on the other hand, falls in the grey area, he is not a ruthless killer; but he doesn’t mind killing if it helps him. So, he is of the view that people are just people, the situations can make even good people perform bad deeds.

If we observe closely, today, I think, most of us are like Archer. Even though, we had a normal childhood and a normal life; we aren’t inherently good. And we all blame it to the society, the world, the universe. We give excuses like, “So what if I don’t do it? One person cannot make any difference”. “Everyone else is doing it, why shouldn’t I?” We are manipulated easily by what everyone else is doing. That is a dangerous thing. It kills us in a way we do not understand. And by the time we realize the change, it is too late to recover.

In my life, I haven’t met a person whom I can clearly classify as good or bad. It is more of a perspective, what I think about them, which is a derivative of their actions and thoughts. In such a case, I don’t think I will ever come across any person who is good or bad. Nobody’s perfect. We all have our greys. And it is important to accept that. Otherwise, it would be impossible to live in this world. Probably, the imagination of God that I have in my mind is perfect. But that is just in my mind. And a number of times I have told myself even God is not perfect. Because, if he was, the world wouldn’t have been such a bad place to live in. I have come to believe that life isn’t fair. It will never be.

A sad side of the world is that, it does not value veracity and good deeds. A simple example being, the leave application for our classes. The rule is that, if we inform the teacher beforehand via mail, about the absence, then the leave will be granted and there wouldn’t be a downgrade. This has led to more people falling sick unnecessarily, because if they tell the truth, leave wouldn’t be granted.

The choices with a student here are both bad- either fake sickness or get downgraded. If I am a good person, I might get downgraded once or twice. But, what will happen eventually, when I see everyone is faking sickness? If I fake sickness, does that make me a bad person? It is just one act. How many such acts would it take to classify me as a bad person? It is not that clear. Hence, as Danny said, people are just people. Their actions might be good or bad. Based on those actions, it is not correct to put tags on them.

As a kid, I hated people who used to use abusive language. I just didn’t speak to them. I hated people who lied. I didn’t speak to them either. After a point I realised, I wouldn’t be able to make any friends, if I kept on doing that. Today, I am friends with people who abuse, who lie and do a number of other things, which I don’t like. But, now it doesn’t matter. That is how we get used to all the bad in the world. We get comfortable. Then, after a certain point in time. It stops bothering us. Probably, that is what happened with Archer. Everything stopped bothering him. Then people were just people.

The only way out here, that I see, is to make peace with the fact that being good isn’t going to be rewarding or easy. We should go on making those choices, with which we can live easily. In our own small ways like helping those in need, we can attain inner peace. Enough for a good night’s sleep. Next day, we can wake up to add some more good to the world. Hoping that eventually, the good and bad would get balanced out. I am not saying we will create Utopia by practicing this. But, at least, we can make the world a decent place to live in. It is worth a try, I say.

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” – Rumi

Posted in Random

सब बेकार…

आज अचानक घंटो चाँद को निहारा
तो लगा कुछ तो अलग है
चाँद भी वही और चांदनी भी वही
पर फिर भी लगा कुछ तो अलग है

छत के उस कोने से सटकर
कई बार कोशिश की
कि कलम उठा इस बेचैनी को
उस कागज़ पे खर्च करूँ

पर सब बेकार ,

दवात में से जो स्याही उधार ली थी
कलम की नोक से चिपककर सूख चुकी है
बिलकुल मेरे ख्यालो की तरह
जो जड़ हैं, बिलकुल अडिग

चाँद अपनी चांदनी पे इतराता है
मंत्रमुग्ध हो जाता हूँ,
सब पीछे छूट जाता है

आजकल खामोश हूँ ,मैं भी और वो भी
कुछ कहता नहीं हूँ , मैं भी और वो भी
इशारो में कुछ कहना चाहते हैं कभी
पर नज़रअंदाज करता हूँ , मैं भी और वो भी

सूरज की किरणों से सन्नाटा टूटता है
एक नयी सुबह से सरोकार होता है
छिप जाता हूँ उस तकिये की आड़ में
फिर उस मासूम चाँद के इंतज़ार में

आज अचानक घंटो चाँद को निहारा
तो लगा कुछ तो अलग है
चाँद भी वही और चांदनी भी वही
पर फिर भी लगा कुछ तो अलग है

– उत्कर्ष “बेसुध” पाण्डेय
6/10/2014, 5:30 am

P.S.: So, this is the second guest post on the blog this year. I actually didn’t want to add anything after this wonderful poem, but then I have to tell you guys a little more about this incredible poet. After my myriad unsuccessful attempts at encouraging him to create his own blog, I decided to publish his latest poem on my blog. I hope the comments he gets for this post would motivate him to maintain his own blog. Connect with him here